these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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