No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
