He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
