holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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