i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
