i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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