the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
