Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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