No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
