This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
