I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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