This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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