how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
