I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
