ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
