i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
