Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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