the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
