you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
ok first of all what the fuck
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