I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
