tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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