the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
