coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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