alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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