Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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