is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
