You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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