Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
