how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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