Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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