OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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