it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
