Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
