after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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