we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
