You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
