got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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