From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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