"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
