Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is not my ceiling
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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