If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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