you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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