im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
