absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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