I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
