LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
