what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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