So drunk its hurt
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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