Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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