please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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